Motivation and chubby girls

Three newbies showed up in my boulder gym this morning. Three super-cute, 14-looking girls, a little on the chubby side. They followed the coach’s instructions, climbed some routes here and there while they took more selfies than anyone else in an entire year.

Quite a nice addition to the usual crowd too. It’s mostly extremely fit-and-pretty French and Spanish folks, and, well, me, the ageing geek locked into a prematurely hairy 16-years-old’s body. And I don’t mean the bulky teenagers that run around nowadays, I mean the weak ones in the 90s, with the apparent incapacity to gain muscle weight.

Living the Dream - Frederique Comics

Anyways, the gym has multiple rooms, some with rocks to climb and some others with pull-up bars and other means of torture. My routine is to switch rooms every 15 minutes or so, and finish in the smaller exercise hall with the flying rings. Today I had to wait a bit before entering the last session: I heard the sound of the girls rope-skipping in the exercise hall.

Not much wait I mean, that’s chubby newbies skipping ropes. It takes like two minutes before they drop dead.

I was totally right, after 30 seconds the floor stopped shaking and I could start my exercise. By the time I entered the room the girls were just chatting on the floor exhausted, so the rings were free and I could start to crunch myself up.

That’s a lot of crunching. Mind you, flying rings are crazy hard to do for a person with no upper body, and that was the end of my workout too. With all the power I had left I pulled myself up, and then lifted my legs to form a perfect 90-degrees angle with my arms.

Then I’ve let my legs go down again just to pull them up once more. I aimed for five repetitions. I’ve contracted all my muscles, closed my eyes, and there they were, my legs, pointing forward again. At this point I’ve changed my mind and decided to go for three repetitions only. One last pull up then: more crunching, more pain, and the room is now totally silent.

Suspiciously silent, in fact.

My body is shaking, I’m grabbing the rings as strong as I can, and my legs are finally up again. There, I open my eyes, and see that the girls are all staring at me now.

With shiny eyes and their mouth open. I’m their hero.

I’m totally back to the gym tomorrow.

j j j

WordPress: scaling up developers

A friend of mine is scaling up her website. It’s running WordPress and has ways too many visitors for their stone-age hosting, which means the service is slow and crashes regularly.

I’m trying to help out, and there are low-hanging fruits all along the way, like moving the files and database off from the VPS and into the cloud. Eventually we are going to move the whole lot to a low-maintenance cloud host like Heroku or CloudControl, use nice caches and what not.

There is one massive bottle-neck: developers.

Technology is awesome. Today you can live in a cave and run a website with close to 100% uptime rate for buttons. No kidding, this blog, receiving about 3000 uniques every month, is running on the smallest Heroku instance – with 100% uptime for the 3rd consecutive month, according to Pingdom. Could easily handle ten times the traffic, all less than $10 per month.

Developers are the ones who are not awesome. They are many, for sure. Throw a stone any direction, and it will hit a WordPress developer.

That stone is likely to hit one who is renaming files to php.backup instead of using version control. One who is not reading Hacker News. One who has never heard of the Twelve-factor app.

It’s definitely not because the new technology is too difficult to learn. I’ve just had a 19-ys-old teammate on a London Hackathon who was writing code for Android, Pebble watch and hacked together a website in 24 hours. I’m pretty sure that, if you’re a developer reading this, you can tell the same story about yourself in your early 20s. We are curious people. I think most developers just give up trying after a while.

The friend-of-mine with the WordPress site is now working with a team of developers who look at Heroku and send me e-mails asking for the FTP password. Clearly, they need to go. Is it easy to find a better team? It is not: Linkedin makes it way too easy to copy CVs, the example codes are plugin rip-offs, and no one can pass the simplest of tech interviews.

Without developers though, any tech project manager is just the coachman who whips thin air and wonders why the carriage wouldn’t move.

(I’m helping out a few friends with their side projects these days, so you can expect more of these rant-posts popping up, haha.)

j j j

On my flight: a prisoner trying to break out

I have a lot of time on my hand to write this post now. I’ve just missed a flight, and my new ticket is for the one that departs in 3 hours only.

Not a good experience, missing a flight by the way, at least not the way I did: I went to the waiting lounge, started programming, entered the “tunnel”, and when I looked up again, all the people were gone and the departure gate’s screen was blank. The screen was blank, I’ve been running back and forth between the departure list and the gate — to slowly realise what I’ve just done.

What if…! I wish I could go back in time, just ten minutes, jump in the queue before the gate closes.

Ain’t gonna happen. What if…?

Missing a flight does actually have a remedy that works all the time: you pay some £200 for the next available plane, and off you go. Nice-and-easy, only my girlfriend is a bit pissed now.

Last week though, when a prisoner, just two rows behind me attacked another person on my flight, I couldn’t come up with a good enough solution to calm myself down.

Oh, yes, prisoner.

A prisoner, on the same flight as I am. Apparently this is something low-cost airlines do. Transport people who need that kind of special assistance.

He smashed the seat in front of him, and used the pieces to attack the person to his right. The attacker, massive fella, with the kind of look you would draw, if you had to make a cartoon about terrorists.

The crew was in panic. The woman next to me started crying. You could hear the assistance-buttons pinging all over the airplane, and the commotion in the back.

The attackee, another massive guy, only extended his left arm and pushed the baddy back to his seat. The two other passengers in front jumped up immediately and joined in. They seemed to have been on our side.

At this point, we didn’t know a thing. It was just a terrorist-looking guy attacking someone during takeoff, and three people pushing him back.

Freakin’ unreal.

What’s the a chance that they do have a weapon on board?

The commotion is just behind me, I’m in the third-to-last row. I hear the big guys saying: “Everything is fine, we are controlling the situation”.

Say what?

I then see handcuffs, and the guys seem to be chaining the attacker to his seat. He is a prisoner, as it turns out, being transferred from London back to his home country.

A prisoner, being on the same flight as I am. Doesn’t sound that bad actually, if you compare it to all the other options.

The crew still seems to be at panic, the pilot announces that we will return to the airport. That’s the longest 20 minutes of landing I’ve had in my life. Please keep the guy at his seat.

As it turns out then, nothing happened. Nothing serious at all. Our hearts were jumping out for no actual reason. However, the perception was such that all of us did rethink our lives.

I, for example, will try to fly less. Much less.

j j j

Spotify or Apple Music: which subscription to cancel?

It’s been a long way for the music industry to catch up with what users need, but at last, there are plenty of really good choices. I’m listening to Apple Music’s British Talent selection right now (The Southern – Shout it!), the sun is shining bright, I have my late-morning coffee, and wonder which subscription to cancel: Spotify or Apple Music.

First world problems, you know.

Both come for £10 a month, Spotify is an awesome Swedish company, and Music’s curated playlists are just fantastic. Oh, such a hard choice this.

Apple’s service is all new, Spotify is offering all their music for free – an interesting test would be to compare which of those databases is seemingly larger. I’ll do this with a list of bands from my to-be-checked-out list: these are the songs I Shazam, get recommended to, or find in a random music store.

Ten songs on ten albums. Extremely unrepresentative.

The results are in.

The big names and new releases both Spotify and Apple Music seems to have:

  • Seb Wildblood / Foreign Parts
  • Wilco / Star Wars
  • Yo La Tengo / Stuff Like That There
  • Beck / Dreams
  • Maaskant & Adam Marshall – Outside the Cave / Vamp
  • Deradoorian / The Expanding Flower Planet
  • Shigeto / No Better Time Than Now

And some are just missing from both stores:

  • Xiu Xiu / Respectful & Clean
  • Brooklyn Funk Essentials / Funk Ain’t Ova

And the only piece that was available on Apple Music, but missing from Spotify:

  • Jean-Michel Jarre & 3D (Massive Attack) / Watching You

Apple did slightly better on this list, but only sliiightly. And the point is, almost every crazy album and song you possibly want to hear is available online.

There you go, the final result: this is a useless test, and you need to decide based on something else.

j j j

This is how I pitch (and why)

There is the promise of the Internet that if you sell online, you never, ever have to see the person you are selling to.

Now that might be true, but then I just have no idea how it works.

If you read this blog for some time already, you know that I’m building a number of products on the side. This is a fun hobby and an extremely convenient position to be in: it’s not like we need to bring on any customers for these projects.

Although many of them require quite some amounts of work and resources, and they tend to reach a point where I’m not that comfortable throwing everything out the window either.

Then, some of those projects I create together with others. There, responsibility is the bitch: when you’re playing with someone else’s time, suddenly a whole lot of girlfriends (including your own) will start hating you.

And there always comes a point where I have to do something highly uncomfortable. Get feedback. Talk to lawyers. Reach out to magazines. Talk in public.

As luck would have it, I got a demo spot on the last Berlin Tech Meetup to introduce Appwoodoo (the service you haven’t heard much about for the last two years, but we suddenly received some real attention).

Talking in front of so many people is scary.

This is how it looks like, a slice of the 235 people in front of you. (Photo by the organiser Gabriel Matuschka. My hands were rather busy pointing towards each and every direction. And shaking like hell.)

Appwoodoo on the Berlin Tech Meetup

To assemble the slides is not more than a day really, but that’s the easy part: you will see how simple they are once I find a way to upload them to SlideShare. (I’m not saying I did it all alone though: all my friends and even the Pitch Doctor helped me out.)

The hard part is, to talk. Once or twice I’ve been on radio shows, and I’m always astonished by how many things the presenters do there in real time. Taking care of each guest’s sound levels, fading out the music, queuing the new song in, reading comments on Facebook, Twitter and what not, and, by the way, following the programme, talk and actively engage the listeners.

It’s much less work to just, sort of, walk about on the stage, talk to the microphone and point towards the presentation, I know. But then it does feel a lot. Look how busy I am there.

Appwoodoo on the Berlin Tech Meetup

Ok, looking at it now, I don’t look that extremely busy. But my brain is running on full power, believe me.

A great shock, and I will want do it again. As many times as possible.

First, everyone says these things get easier with practise.

Second, people loved what I was talking about. I mean, really, some folks did actually sign up to the service while I was introducing it.

And lastly, it sort of feels like runner’s high. Once you get to the point where you can’t breathe any more and are just about to spit your lungs out, it kicks in and you feel like you could just run, run forever and more.

Can’t wait to be shit-scared again.

j j j

IBM is not Nerdwana

So when I get offered a $2000 visitor pass for a tech conference plus a flight ticket and accommodation in Las Vegas, then I say yes and start packing my bags. Even if IBM Interconnect does not particularly sound fun, and even if I could point out almost infinite number of better things to spend that money on.

Buy me $3500 worth of Red Bull, and I’ll rewrite for you Facebook in Brainfuck tonight.

In university times, IBM used to be the place where you send your resume only if you don’t consider technology being especially important. Their products are as uncool as Windows XP was for OS – but where Microsoft developers are crazy awesome hackers, IBM seems to exclusively hire sales people. Hackers don’t like that sort of thing very much.

And now, the Big Blue gives the world Watson. The one-stop shop for artificial intelligence. That is a solid, fun, innovative thing to do, and mind you: it’s not a startup building AI-as-a-service first, but people from the Dilbert strips.

I’m here with one of the first startups that can get their hands on Watson, so I’m very excited to visit all workshops and see what is there to learn.

There are many versions of the system for example, but I can break it down to two main ones.

There is the Watson that is on TV and in press releases and does all the cool stuff. And there is the one that you are being given access to, which is basically Elastic Search with a fancy, overpriced API. (That is, for now, of course, because the product is meant to evolve in the future.)

I’m not supposed to disclose any details, but the startup I’m supporting has seen marketing potential in partnering with IBM, therefore the Big Blue’s technology has to be interesting for us. It is actually, as far as it can get, but is it something to wow on in 2015, that they’ve discovered Cloud Foundry and a bunch of open source code, than went on to copy Heroku?

It isn’t of course, but it isn’t even relevant. Technology alone is not worth a thing. Even further, innovation alone is not worth a thing. Otherwise the Big Blue would have gone out of business a long time ago. And business is something they are very much in.

“I don’t get why we have to give away stuff for free, but if the world wants that, I’m fine with offering Bluemix for a month at no cost.” — says an IBM-mer in suits.

And as low of a respect I have for developers who are wearing ties and aren’t interested in working with the latest tech, I have to admit, there is something to learn from IBM here.

Business. Whatever you create, invent, play with and work on: don’t forget to find someone who sells it for you.

j j j

Let’s create something impossible

Flipped through this hip ebook, listing 100 startup people from Berlin in 2014. Hundred people, that’s a lot. Hundred startups, that’s, yeah, a lot.

A lot of ideas a hundred, not a surprise therefore that most of the ideas are very similar. “Disrupting the e-commerce scene of blablabi”. (Call it a webshop, shall we?) A new social network platform (for some boring niche). A cutting edge (recipe book) app.

I’m excited about tackling this problem. Let’s make life better together.

Is the new off-license around the corner a startup as well then? Well it kind of should count, though they are making money. Because, as it seems, most of the upstarts will never, ever going to make any money (apart from the amount raised from angel investors).

But then, if all these startups are going to fail, or at least the better part of them, why are the ideas so similar and mundane? Why not starting something actually exciting, that makes you want to wake up every day?

Create something impossible. Try stuff out. Make mistakes. Learn from them.

Well, I have the answer actually. I’m in the same shoes.

We start mundane startups, because we don’t know any better. We are blind to difficult problems, and let’s face it: it’s ways easier to just start an Airbnb for dogs, than finding out what we really want.
What we really-really want.

Having recently turned 30 and having spent my twenties learning, travelling and experimenting, I only know a few parameters. I want to help people. Want to do something new. Want to learn more.

(And I’ve already started four companies, so ’just a startup’ is not that exciting.)

As for the purpose of life, I have no idea just yet. I have met people who can surf every day while running an Airbnb spot next to the ocean. And a painter guy living on a house boat in London. They inspire me very much.

As a tool to find out what to do next, we are starting this magazine and community of creative thinkers: Yakuzuzu. Maybe, if we interview enough smart people, we can find the best life for ourselves.

Guys, come with me. Let’s write, take photos, travel and find the most inspiring people out there. Let’s make Yakuzuzu together.

Let’s s find the purpose of our lives.

j j j

Startups, why don’t you learn from corporates?

Right on, you got the title right. While I’m helping large companies implementing startup techniques in their work culture, it always leaves me surprised how young upstarts have an attitude towards learning from anyone else.

If you are a startup though, you shouldn’t forget that corporates are entrepreneurs too – they are just a bit different. And those differences are not necessarily all that bad; there are at least a few lessons you can take away from them.

So what secrets can startups learn from a big mammoth? Here are my favourites.

The company structure

Regardless of what type of structure the age dictates, be it a bureaucratic hierarchy or an upside-down pyramid: having one is a must. Responsibilities and rights management make life easier, especially when it comes to avoiding conflicts.

(If you are now thinking that as a one-man-show you are safe, here is another lesson for you to start with: learn how to delegate. Hiring an online assistant for a few hours a week will give you the opportunity to focus on what you are the best at – and eventually, to make more money.)

Within startups, it’s quite common to see programmers and graphic designers fighting over marketing questions. The reason is simple: there is no marketing guy in the team, and no one else has the right to make a decision alone. Working in such a structure is not only inefficient, but has a bad influence on the work morale too.

Clearly, the more people work together, the more support they will need on the management side, increasing overhead, making the hierarchy more complicated. All this is very unnatural for upstarts, but as the company grows, these questions will arise. The sooner you have the answer for them, the easier the transformation will be.

Planning ahead

Do you know exactly, how long you have been working on this product? Do you know how much more time you would need to finish it? Do you have a marketing budget?

Most startups have difficulties answering these simple questions. Some can’t even tell how much money they will need to finish their only project. And even when they have the numbers, those are far from being usable: costs usually include everything around the development but not the product launch costs, maintenance, support, marketing (and sooo on).

Planning ahead is not easy, and any system that aims such has to be extremely flexible. Large corporates tend to suffer from strict policies, forcing managers to do those little cheats: buying chairs of the marketing budgets and what not.

Ignore the math early though, and it will put you in serious trouble later: imagine running out of cash the moment you finished the product – and with a zero marketing budget, you will eventually reach no one. Maybe except from those you are friends with on Facebook.

Good planning won’t save you from being unlucky. But at least, you will know when you are in the need of making a decision. When the project exceeds the budget only halfway through, you can decide to freeze the features, cut some of the marketing costs or handle the situation in any other way. Without budget expectations, you might learn about running out of cash too late – and end up with no money, no product – and no plan.

Information management

How many people do know about the company’s assets? Who has access to the bank statements? Who do your clients trust?

What happens if those people leave?

You may not be surprised how much it can cost you if a trusted employee leaves the company – but you surely would be surprised to know how much of that cost could be reduced by utilising the right concepts.

Corporates have to handle a huge fluctuation of employees and board members – and each time someone leaves, it turns out that none of those guys were irreplaceable. Everything works fine without them too, and – unless the ones just left are fishing in the dark -, the company’s assets and products are safe too.

The way they do that is having the responsibilities and rights set ahead. From this article’s point of view, it really doesn’t matter if you want your startup to be a place where everyone knows about everything, or, a company with strict data security policies.

The only thing important is being prepared to replace every single person – even a board member or a co-founder -, with having clear responsibilities and being ready to give and revoke access to any asset.

Using the right tools

Yes, large companies have a lot of cash. You can argue that for them better computers and a few more test devices cost almost nothing, or that they can share everything between many projects and employees.

There is nothing against being creative though. There is no need to buy a 3D printer to use one, and one of the big advantages of using co-working offices is to work close to similar startups. You can ask them to test your products, or lend each other all sorts of resources: graphic designers seem to be working on all sorts of projects in their empty hours.

The same goes to online tools.

Software, infrastructure, marketing is for free, one can say. Except that is usually not true. Surely, there are great opportunities out there, and the best form of advertising – word of mouth – is also free. But in most cases, you will end up investing something more important: your time.

Creating a circle around you where everyone shares their discoveries, newly utilised tools or just explains the ones you don’t have time trying out, is a good way to make the learning curves a little steeper. It doesn’t only feel great but is extremely helpful for everyone involved.

Think BIG

Large companies have huge numbers on the cost side – so they need to have big numbers in the income column too. One of the upsides of running a startup is to be able to keep the costs low – but it doesn’t mean you need to keep your income low as well.

As a startup, you are probably trying to find a nice niche in the market. But one of the reasons you have the opportunity to fill up your gap is that it is – a gap. A small, tiny piece of the whole cake. Now, it might be a really profitable segment and a very tasty slice, but there is a high chance that the whole cake would feed many more mouth.

There are plenty of reasons for being unable to immediately go for bigger ventures of course. It’s very unlikely for example, that an upstart animation studio would get the next feature-film deal from Disney. These trust issues and other obstacles can usually be hacked though, and the opportunities are always there. They are there for the ones who are looking.

So, keep looking.
Keep learning.

j j j

How I messed up being vegetarian

Being vegetarian is awesome. Living with a smaller footprint and in harmony with the environment, contributing to a more sustainable life while taking good care of your health. Who doesn’t want this? This last New Years Eve I tried to remove meat from my diet altogether – just to find myself in misery a few months after.

Starting the smart way

Jumping into such a huge change is never an easy move though, and I wanted to do the right way. First, I moved away from meat step by step (here is a blog post on how I started out about a year ago). I also talked to vegan nutritionists and vegetarians regularly, asking about the shift towards vegetables without missing all the important nutritions.

I’ve read all what was out there to read: about vegetarian weight lifters’ diet, the need of iron and all that. My kitchen became fantastic. The number one rule was to keep on adding new dishes instead of just removing the meaty ones – so I ended up learning great tastes and even new vegetables and fruits.

In theory, everything you need is available in a vegetarian diet, especially if you vary the ingredients a lot. Betting on this I was fairly confident that everything will go fine.

This is not a symptom, is it?

If something small is missing from your diet, you won’t know about it until much, much later. At a time, when you don’t even expect it to come from skipping meat.

Looking back, my first warning signs were after a day in the mountains, when we did sports all day and had one too many glasses of wine in the evening. The next day, while driving home I was feeling really week. Have you ever felt week? Yeah, I did too. It’s not really a symptom, is it?

Sleeping got worse, on a few occasions I woke up in the middle of the night. Once I even noticed heart palpitations; had a little water and went back to sleep, and the next day I continued my yoga routines. All went back to normal again, so I was suspecting my turning-30-anxiety – all my friends had those as well, I guess.

More fun was to have short depressive episodes. I had beers with friends, when those weird thoughts crossed my mind: ‘it’s quite alright to collapse here, there would be enough folks around to call the ambulance‘. I didn’t consider these hundred-percent-normal for sure, but it was easy to blame the alcohol intake and the lack of sleep.

Fortunately, at this point I’ve met a friend who is an animal right activist and a vegan nutrition nerd. We had lunch one day, and she mentioned that most vegetarians take B12, because it’s impossible to get it from outside animal products. Oh, and by the way, most vitamin deficiencies cause weakness, fatigue, bad memory, heart palpitations – all sorts of those not-very-defined symptoms I had.

Fight B12 and iron deficiency

Having started taking vitamins right away, I went for a blood count the next week. The results showed that I was indeed lacking B12 and some iron as well. Good news is that fighting mineral deficiencies is rather easy. Supplements come in many forms like vitamin pills, power drinks and even as a tooth paste.

There is one big drawback: it’s all interconnected. As an example, while milk contains B12, it also affects the ability to absorb iron. And if you take iron pills, you should supplement it together with zinc – and so on. The whole thing is very, very confusing, and I couldn’t even guess what else was missing from my diet. Hence, for until my body finds its way back to normal, I decided to eat some meat again.

What is it like, to eat meat after a long time?

It’s rare to see my girlfriend as happy as the day we went for our first real burger. Well, at least till the point we actually entered the joint. After the first few bites I felt terrified and expected a heart attack any time; the room suddenly became too loud and smelly for me to bear, and we had to leave with half the sandwich to go.

Only the next time I ate meat did I realise that it had huge effects on my body. I was crossing a bridge on a sunny day after lunch, and my heart was about to jump out of my chest – pretty much the same experience as in the burger joint, except that this time I could enjoy it. It was like drinking six coffees in a row.

Fix your nutrition, it fixes your mind

Having to drink less coffee is only one upside of paying attention to my vitamin intake (and eating some meat again). A bit more than one month in, my overall mood is ways better, I’m more patient to my friends, and I’m less and less anxious before lunchtime.

The upside is, in the last half a year I learned a lot about food, the importance of nutrition, vitamins, micro-minerals and the effects they can have on the body and the mind.

In the end of the day: what doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger.

j j j

Bitcoin to save Prague (and tourism overall)

Thanks to the snow and a missed connection, I’ve had unexpected hours to kill in Prague. I’ve bought some cakes, wrote this article – and realised the true value of Bitcoin.

These unforeseen opportunities to discover a city are usually loads of fun. This time however – having seen the Czech capital a few times already and being held back by the sub-perfect weather conditions -, I just decided to jump in a warm cafe and spend the time with work. I assumed that eating out some place in the former Eastern European Bloc is the cheapest option anyway. And I learned that it isn’t.

Do you know how much a coffee costs in Prague?

£5,40. That’s almost twice as much as it is in London.

Well, let’s be fair: the price the cafe asks for is very reasonable. The problem is that this is not the price you will eventually pay. Czech has its own currency, which means you look at significant banking- or exchange costs.

The cafe I chose didn’t seem to accept AMEX cards. Coming from direction Germany and talking about a small amount of cash, my best option was to exchange Euros (which I previously withdrew from my sterling account, to make it more financially rewarding).

So I went to the cafe, checked the price of one cappuccino and the most expensive looking cake, went to the exchange, queued for cash, and went back for the warm beverage.

Now, I understand that governments need their own currency to make corruption easier and to be able to confiscate the economy around the election campaign time, for all sorts of populist reasons. It’s just that it makes the world a little worse.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to be able to pay with a currency you are already familiar with, without the need to deal with fake-looking Monopoly money, dodgy exchange booths and shady folks?

Cryptocurrencies are not only for the Internet.

Hey foreign merchants, just so you know: if I ever see a Bitcoin badge on your cafe’s window, I will go in. Even if you play minimal techno in Balkan punk style. Even if your seats are made of stones.

This is happening right here and right now, people – and it’s moving really fast. There will be more currency options, the markets will lose their volatility, and I’m waiting for the day to be finally get paid in BTCs.

I’m definitely in for Bitcoin (and Litecoin, Namecoin, Quarkcoin etc.) – but trying to stay on the safe side. For the start, I’ve set up a server to collect market infos and created an app to display price charts. So far the server is slow, so only the 24-hs BTC view is free as an Android app: BTC Charts for Android (coming soon for iOS and the web).

(Please debate on Twitter.)

j j j